Snowfall
by Perfections-Cat
Summary: But I know what I have done. Snow rarely graces the Land of Fire, but when it does, Sasuke realizes what losing himself truly meant.


**Author's Note:** So, this was a request that I finally got around to filling. Terms were: to be inspired by The Eels' song _I'm Going To Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart _and to include angst. Not sure how well I did, but yeah. That's the story to this one, haha. Enjoy!

* * *

It rarely snowed in the Land of Fire. Almost never actually. While the seasons would change, Falls forgotten in a gust of frost-bitten wind, it never snowed. But for some reason, the elements came together to create that perfect union. When he looked towards the sky, specks of white tangled in his lashes, settled along the tip of his nose, and nipped at his mouth.

All of this, though, did not surprise him. He had expected it. And for a moment, the faintest hints of a smile ghosted about his lips. Not enough to light up his eyes or warm his rapidly chilling body, but enough to renew the sense of pain he had tried to forget.

Or so that was what he had told himself. He would forget, would attempt to push the memory – still so warm, pulsing with every breath and running hot through his veins - so far down that the darkness of his mind would swallow it piece by piece. Digest it into mere particles of what was nothing more than a bad dream, something that should have never happened.

But it had happened. And nothing he did could change that fact. He was far too well-versed in these situations to think otherwise. Yet, he still tried. Because this. . .this really wasn't supposed to have happened. All that had tormented him up until this point had been stained by his very name. _Uchiha._ Cursed by its own blood and, until that moment, had been satisfied with strangling those unfortunate enough to bear its weight.

Sasuke turned his gaze away from the grey above to the impenetrable whiteness around him. Everything was coated in that one hue. Perfect. Just the barest peeks of dark brown bark. The thinnest branches of the surrounding trees were coated in an inch thick layer of ice. Made the hue beneath seem surreal, as if it was simply an entrapment of decaying color. Not real, but just a symbol of fall. Of any fall really, a stumble into death that while one minute spectacular was in the end cold and empty. Empty of color. Empty of breath. A snow-coated husk of what once had been.

Eventually, his eyes settled upon a lump, about fifteen feet away from him, longer than it was wide. Hardly noticeable because of the snow cover. Had he not already known about it, he might have missed the deformity of land entirely. Something he could note and forget without a single care.

A tremor ravaged his body then. Sharp and yet barely felt. Far too cold for muscles to react properly. Rather, it resonated more in his stomach, which seemed hollow despite the rice and fish he had gulped down half an hour earlier.

One step was taken towards the mound. His movements were stiff, like a machine that hadn't been oiled in months, forgotten gears forced into action. Each shift causing joints to protest as they struggled to smooth out the motion to no avail. Finally, Sasuke gave up and simply stared from a distance.

"Funny, isn't it?" he murmured. There was a replay of that smile over his lips, not quite fully-fledged. Not quite born from cheer, but lingering about the corners of his mouth like a long-forgotten memory.

He shifted, then brought his arms around his body. His first attempt to seal the warmth inside of him. Unlike that moment, this action came in time, his chest welcoming the heat brought by his arms.

For a moment, he wished the sun would show itself. But that was impossible. The sky was too thick with cloud-cover, overcrowded and forcing a dull shadow over the world around him. Appropriate though, he couldn't help but think.

A place far away. A place only he would know. Lips twitched as that thought hung around his mind, creating a traffic jam of thought was completely soundless. As if his own words knew the implications of this, and rather than scream in protest, waited patiently for him to move beyond that one statement. A place only he knew.

Selfish until the very end. But he knew the other boy would forgive him for this. Maybe not for everything else, but this he would forgive. And that realization _hurt_.

"You always think you move beyond the past, but you never do," Sasuke whispered. The past was not something to be escaped. It simply couldn't be done. And in the effort correct that, it had found a new way to surprise him. Like a double-headed snake, distracting one end only left the other head free to bite.

Closing his eyes, he turned his face to the sky. Let the flakes land upon unwashed skin where he could feel the heat of his body melt them. And they'd collect together, small pearls of water that would run over his cheeks, his nose, his lips, and skim over skin. Down the length of his throat where they'd fade into the neckline of his cloak, a reddish mixture that was more blood than snow.

After some minutes spent like that, Sasuke tilted his head downward, causing the remaining drops of snow to run quickly down his cheeks. A stray whisper of thought urged him to use the snowfall around him to clean himself off, but no part of him responded to the suggestion.

Instead, Sasuke took another step towards the mound. One after the other, the muted crunch of his weight compacting the snow beneath him the only thing he heard aside from the snowfall itself. A subtle sound that was carried on a winter's breeze which stirred up silver-lined twisters of snow and sent the flakes scattering into new piles.

But rather than walk up to the small white-shrouded monument, he slipped past it. Paused for a few brief seconds when he hit the farthest end of it. Dark eyes drifted over the ground before him, seamless in its alabaster cover.

"I don't know that we'll ever meet again." Sasuke took in a deep breath, enjoying the way the cold snapped at his lungs, scalding the tender lining with its frozen lips.

His knee bent, but the follow-through failed, and instead he set his foot back where it had been. No. . .that was all. With a sideways glance, he started forward again.


End file.
